For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently living in the Czech Republic.
I just released my second album. It’s self-titled.
Sending fumes of
across the apple orchard
and farmhand den
sit alone together
breathing in each other’s
Isn’t it strange how you can need so little to want so much?
It is pleasant to want
noticing that it is not need
Vibrations go against stillness
mirroring my imperfections
I don’t know if these facebook conversations are interesting to anyone else. All I know is that I need to document conversations like this one for my own sake because they demonstrate the problems I face every day so well. It’s like an ethnography of my feminist struggle. Again, edited for clarity/anonymity/conciseness.
After a huge blow-out with my well-intentioned and semi-progressive white, male housemate, I posted this status update:
I AM TRYING TO UNLEARN THE SHIT SOCIETY PUTS ON WOMEN AND QUEER PEOPLE BUT I CAN’T BE THE ONLY FUCKING ONE. WHITE, HETEROSEXUAL MALES HAVE TO DO IT, TOO.
It was so fun (in a experience-my-own-irritation-threshold-being-tested kind of way) to watch all the white males I was referring to “like” that status. Some radical sisters posted “amen”-like responses, and a couple of dudes even commented in agreement. Everything was all peaches and cream. Until this other well-intentioned and semi-progressive white, cis male said…
“part of our programming is to think that some(of one type) = all(of that type). This applies to generalizing white heterosexual males as well…”
Wait for it…
In honor of my upcoming adventure, I’ve decided to host a small…
Farewell to the Bay Tour
to say goodbye to the community that raised me. I realize, of course, that I haven’t exactly had a “Hello to the Bay” tour, but such is life. Here is the information for my three little gigs (no pun intended):
Shelby Ash Presents, “The Big Ass Hillbilly Show“
with The Trespassers, Emily Bonn and the Vivants, and The Muddy Roses
at Slim’s on Friday, August 9th, doors at 8pm and music at 9pm
333 11th Street, San Francisco
$15 cover charge, all ages
Cabaret Pop Matinee
with The Jaunting Martyrs and Erinn Brazill and the Brazillionaires
at the Starry Plough on Sunday, August 11th at 4pm
3101 Shattuck Ave, Berkeley
no cover charge, allages
Caffe Trieste Show
with Jonah Udall
at Caffe Trieste on August 18th at 7pm
2500 San Pablo Ave, Berkeley
no cover charge, all ages
I’m making a new album for the occasion. I’m very, very excited. Can you tell?
Recently, my well-intentioned and politically progressive male housemate made a sexist remark and, in response to my aggressive reaction, told me that if I kept getting upset every time someone made a sexist joke I’d have a really hard time going through life. As if I need to be reminded of that. He also repeatedly makes the fact that I am a woman extremely well-known (even when I tell him that it makes me uncomfortable), by calling me every single “babe” or “sweetie” or “madame” name out there or opening the car door for me, under the guise of being a Southern Gentleman who can’t shake an old and harmless habit.
So at the risk of hurting some feelings, here is email I sent to said housemate. Publishing this letter is not an attack against an individual, but rather to demonstrate, once again, that sexism happens everywhere. Even in supposedly “progressive” places, like in my music and love-filled home. This point is one I may have to continue making over and over again, ad nauseum, because people don’t seem to be getting the message (and not because the point is wrong, but because it’s a tough one to stomach).
Dear [Well-Intentioned and Progressive Male Housemate],